Skin Deep Healing: Hidden Hurt to Wide Open Spaces-Pt. 5

You Love People ... You Just Hate Christianisms

Yes This Is A New Word---Created Here First To Help Me Laugh By: Bryan Gaston

Truth From the People Who Know Me Best:Rediscovering My Love For People

 

This is where family, friends, and community help sort things out.  For me my community is my family and friends.  My family knows me so well. I laid it all out: my audience hates me, I must hate my audience, the vision, the dream, how certain “church statements” still trigger me.

Here are the key points they gave me:

  You love people but hate Christianisms (aka “Christianese”).

  Remember someone else got really angry… (Me: You?) No, Mom—someone bigger.  Jesus.  He turned over tables in the temple and got angry at religious people because they were hurting others. It’s because you love people.

That conversation reminded me why I started all this.  It wasn’t unforgiveness—it was love for people. I want to see them rise to all they were born to do. It burns in me. That was truth, and it was balm to my heart.

I realized I didn’t hate my audience. I love them. And I remembered who my audience really is: anyone with ears to hear. So simple.

The Tapestry Revelation: The Knot God Removed

 

As I mulled over the conversation with the Lord, the answer came.  I understood what had been happening since November 2024, at the Miami book award ceremony for Time to Really Live Free.

The Lord showed me a tapestry—mine, me. I saw a dingy grayish string knotted into my colorful tapestry on November 23, 2024 (or tightened then).  I’d had a hard time at that event—new people, uncertainty.  One speaker said, “You need to know your audience and go to them.”  I thought, My audience hates me—how can I go to them?  Right there, the knot was tied.

It didn’t belong. It was a lie I believed and accepted as truth—because I thought I hadn’t forgiven.  I allowed it to take root and intertwine.  The knot looked white but was dirty: a mix of what I thought was truth and the lie that my audience hated me, leading me to think I hated them.  Wow.

This is when the Lord reminded me of something I had written within Time To Really Live Free (pg 25):

We are tormented because we believe a lie and pass it down as truth.

Then I saw God’s hand loosen and pull out the knot because I repented—meaning I saw things his way.

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