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Process Content Learning
One of the things I wrote about in my first book, Time to Really Live Free, was process content learning and how this forms our core beliefs (Chapter 7). Another point I made, in Chapter 4, was how I didn’t want my children to fake it til they make it. I wanted them to be how they are express what they feel and we can sort it out and how much more God desires to do this with us.
The other day the Lord had brought me to Proverbs 31, as I reflected on how I raised my two boys. In verse 28 it states, “Her children respect and bless her” (MSG). The words respect and blessed come from the Hebrew word ashar (833) and here it means pronounce happy, call blessed.
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What I had been thinking about was how I made sure to apologize to them when I was in the wrong. Even though I didn’t have words for process content learning I knew my actions, how I dealt with things were on full view of two little boys. I understood I couldn’t expect them to learn to do something without me doing it first. The core belief would be formed as I walked out life. They learned from me.
As an example, I couldn’t expect them to say sorry if I wasn’t able to say sorry to them for mistakes I made towards them. Humans know when it is real and when it is a show. I would make sure I was ready to say sorry when it needed to be said.
One of the first times I remember when this came to fruition was when my eldest was about 3 years old. I don’t remember what he had done or said but it had been wrong. I wasn’t supposed to spank him, or yell at him, or tell him he needed to even say sorry but just let him know that it was wrong. About 10 minutes went by and he said, mommy I am sorry. I felt like I had accomplished something huge as a parent. This wasn’t the first time for either of us, nor with my youngest, but it was one of many times each of us has gone to one another and apologized.
Another scripture came to mind from Ephesians:
“Fathers, don’t frustrate your children with no-win scenarios. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.” 6:4 MSG
I think we teach respect by showing respect, humility by showing humility, forgiveness by showing forgiveness and on and on. This is how we take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Frustrating our children in no win scenarios is expecting them to have respect when they have never experienced it from you.
Please do not feel like you have to perform perfectly all the time. I have not. But doing your best in the moment you are in with what you know in that exact moment is all God expects from each of us (aka: going from glory to glory). This also is something our children need to see so they too can do the same.
Am I a perfect parent…my children would say ummmm…not all the time. But they say I am a pretty good one…actually they would agree with Proverbs 31 they respect and bless me. Because I first showed them respect and blessing. That is really what Proverbs 31 is about. Times have changed and what woman do in and out of the house may have changed but the one thing that hasn’t changed is how we take our children by the hand and walk ahead teaching them by our actions the way of the Master.
