Table of Contents
The Church & The World
Over the last couple years I have realized how much the church resembles the world. Sadly, since both contain humanity coupled with their desire to control and manipulate people to their own advantage it makes sense. I have watched the government in the United States act exactly how this church had treated my family and friends. Of course on a larger scale.
Control
I would hope for better from the church though. I can see why our founding fathers wanted a separation from church and state. So that the state couldn’t control the church. But I see now how much they do control the church and how many religious entities have a desire to control people.
Light & Salt
I think if we are going to have honest discussions within the church, about the church, it is important for things to be brought into the light. What is so dismaying is the church does not always want things brought out into the light. Which is an oxymoron to the message of light (Jesus). I don’t know about you but when I was little and sang the song about not hiding my light and letting it shine I took that seriously. We are to bring light to situations, honesty and wisdom.
Revival
One of the ways the church can move into the next revival is to let all things come into the light, be honest, stop trying to control and manipulate people, stop fixating on bad behavior and start preaching the good news-we live in the time of grace. Talk about the benefits of ‘being in Christ’? There are so many. Helping resolve conflict and being the salt (wisdom- more on this in another post).
Below is a follow up post to Ummm…Is That An Elephant in the Room. That post ended up being my most popular. It was shocking the outpouring of people who came forward after that post. Sharing with me their own stories. It feels good to not be alone. For so long many people felt so alone but not anymore. If you have gone through a similar situation I want you to know you are not alone. There are others who have also been through similar situations and have made it through and are okay. Again I would not change what happened it has made me the person I am today and I wouldn’t be doing the things I am doing now if it hadn’t happened. I am thankful for what I have learned and the many lives I have been able to come in contact with. People–I love people.
With no further ado….People Don’t Like Letting the Elephant Out, originally posted on January 3, 2016.
Introduction
There have been a couple questions that I was asked personally about my last blog post. I would like to address them in a larger audience. First though I would like to thank all of the people who private messaged me their similar stories. If you have had a similar story and would like to share it with me I would love to hear it. You can share here without it going public, as all comments go through me first and if you don’t want it made public please say so and I will respect your wishes. Also, you can connect with me via Facebook Messenger, Instagram DM or my website here.
The First Question
When you put the comment on Facebook, that you later took down, why didn’t you preface what you said with “this is what is happening in so many churches, but praise God it’s not the case in my church”?
- I do not play the “shoulda, coulda, woulda game”, it is from the pit of hell.
- I do make amends with people when I have personally hurt them, but…
- I have learned I needed to stop apologizing for “words from the Lord” that people did not like for their own reasons.
- What I also learned is to never add or take away from exactly what the Lord told me to say.
- Last but not least, I referenced myself in the statement I had posted and I was in that church…that’s probably why God didn’t say to preface it with: ‘it wasn’t in my church’.
The Outrage
The other question that I felt needs to be addressed, maybe it wasn’t a question more a statement, is the anger and outrage for telling my honest side of the story. The statements I have seen have been: how could a Christian come out and say such things, we should all just love, where is the love in this, Christians should stop talking so badly about others, etc.
Pretty much I take this as sit down and be quiet. I have been pounded over the head with scripture to just love and be in unity. I feel it is important to look at all of scripture and Paul gives us very good advice on how to handle conflict resolution with people in Matthew 18. -for further understanding you can read Chapter 22 of Time To Really Live Free and all of The Door Is Open, as it goes into detail of both the vertical relationship with God and the horizontal relationship with people.
I find it interesting, thus far, and it begs to be asked: Where was all the love and where were all the scriptures when these lies were being said about my family and friends publicly???? Hmmmmmm…I never heard any outrage made about us. As a matter of fact, we were silent for a year waiting for resolution while the character assassination continued. And those that did stand up and say no to the demands to let go of a friendship and choose the church were then ostracized and began being shunned as we had been. We did not empty the church the leadership did and will continue to do so as they don’t appear to want to change from their wrong choices. The leadership of that church told people they had to choose them or us. We never told people to choose, ever. People were and still are free to be our friends and go to that church.
Wisdom Presented
So, I want to leave the Body of Christ with this statement about why a Christian like me would even tell my side of the story. This was written in a comment by Joel Prinz publicly on Facebook to answer this very question:
This isn’t the story of King David, if it was then our “oppressor” would be left for dead by God and killed by the Philistines lol. God doesn’t work like that anymore and I would never wish such things on anyone. His grace now covers all sin, but if you sow deceit and destruction, then naturally it will come back to get you, you will reap it. That’s what this story is about, if you only knew the number of people hurt by them it would put (it) in perspective for you. You shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what they’ve gotten away with, American church culture is backwards, pastors shouldn’t be able to just run around and mess with people’s lives without it being brought to the light. As the biblical steps for conflict resolution go,
- Step 1: Go to the person you have a conflict with, if they don’t listen enter
- Step 2, bring a witness, still they don’t listen?
- Step 3, bring it before the church.
Step 3 is in effect now. That is all. Pastors are not above correction, but the American church acts like they are. All steps have been attempted in that order. *drops mic*
I am not afraid of questions. I stand by what I wrote in my last blog post, Ummm….Is That an Elephant in the Room?, as an honest account of what happened to me, my family and friends (remember this is still not even close to all that occurred). If you or anyone you know has had a similar experience or may be in a spiritual abuse situation at the bottom of the post, Ummm…Is That an Elephant in the Room, are signs that Judy Friederich outlines of spiritual abuse. She is open to anyone contacting her via Facebook Messenger for help or questions regarding your circumstances. She is a trusted counselor with years of helping people in similar experiences.
