Time To Really Live Free
I still “sinned,” which led me to beat myself up and not love parts of myself. What I had learned and been taught in the church was not working anymore…I was tired. I was exhausted from trying so hard to perform for God, others, and myself. God was getting ready to change my “core beliefs” from what I had learned for years in the church as “truth” to “his truth.”
I never thought the answer to my question would come at such a price nor take four years of unwinding my core beliefs and writing a book to get there. The answer did come though and is inside this book. I am so excited to share part of the road I traveled, which led me to the answer. Some of this book will be “AHA!” moments for you or you might find yourself saying, “I always believed this within myself, but couldn’t put it into words.” God desires and invites us to clearly see him as he sees us and to know him as he knows us (1 Corinthians 13:12). He also wants us to learn who we really are in him. I am hoping through this book, like me, you also will find your freedom in Christ because it is time to really live free.
"Church leaders had taught me you choose God's free gift then you work to keep the free gift."
Chapter 1
Chapter 1- Religious?!?
Have you ever said, “No, I am not religious… I have a relationship with God!” I have so many times. I was explaining to my family, the other day, how I had truly felt like I had a relationship with God before my revelation. I prayed for one to three hours daily. I watched my words. I wanted to prove to God and others I loved him with all my heart, soul, mind, and body; I wanted my boys to choose God’s free gift, live a “favored life,” and be obedient little soldiers of Christ through a “relationship with him.” I needed to prove to God I wanted to live a holy life for him. God and I did have “relationship,” but it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted it. It was much more religious than it was a relationship, and I had chosen to make it that way because this is what I had learned to do in the church
It might help to first define the word religious. This is a difficult word to define as it uses the word in the definition. The definition according to Merriam-Webster is:
member of a religious order, congregation, etc.; a monk, friar, or nun. the religious, devout or religious persons. devoted, unswerving, meticulous.
I was definitely devoted, unswerving, and meticulous. I am not saying these are bad things to be. Just like with many things, they can have both a positive or negative effect. My devotion, steadfastness, and diligence to my checklist of things I must do to keep God happy actually usurped God himself.
This is how I define religious: when your checklist usurps God himself. You may think you are not religious and maybe you aren’t. I was religious and thought I was just really “loving God.” But loving God should not feel like a requirement to receive his love. This is where I found myself living from. It is easy for me to see now, but back then, I couldn’t see the heavy burden I was carrying around by trying to make God happy with me by proving I love him. I think when you hear what he has to say about the way he views relationship and take a look at some examples of core beliefs you may hold, then you will also have your own personal revelation. From this revelation, I am believing you will, like me, have a shift in your core beliefs. If you are tired of performing for God’s love and acceptance, if you have found the yoke is heavy instead of light, then I invite you on this adventure with me, which will lead into a wide open space you could only have imagine before. It is a place, which is fuller of rest, love, grace, and mercy. It is simple and the message has always been there. I believe this book brings us full circle back to the original teaching Jesus brought to earth and his disciples passed on. It is the message, which has been lost in many mainstream churches, but there are always voices proclaiming the truth through the generations. Come and live free with me, the way Jesus intended. For whom the son sets free is free indeed. This is my prayer for each of us as we go on this adventure together.
